What’s His Name and So And So start a new job

When we take on a new role, we are usually overwhelmed with information and things to remember. One of the things we need to remember is people’s names.

Two or three times a week, I facilitate groups of people I haven’t met before. I often get feedback that I am good with names, which is often followed by a comment saying they are not. This facility can make a critical difference. I wasn’t always good at remembering names, but one day I decided to develop my abilities in this area. Now, I make a point of knowing everyone’s name within an hour, and there can be 20 people in the group.

Along the way, I’ve experimented and learned a few things. One day recently, I had a big week and was tired, so I decided try a shortcut. Instead of focusing on learning the names, I asked the people to write their names on what trainers call a name tent and place it in front of them. At lunch time, I asked them to change places and most people didn’t take their name tents with them. In the afternoon session, I found that instead of using their correct names, I used the name that was written on the card that was in front of them. I hadn’t tried to remember their names in the morning because there was no need, and so I hadn’t.

These days, when I hear people say they aren’t good at names, I hear it as an excuse for not even trying. I also hear it as a lack of respect — and sometimes a lack of humility. They don’t think they need to.

As it was in my case, everyone can get “good at names.” The Internet is full of ideas and techniques to help and I do use a few of them:

I always write a name down first, — it helps when I can see it
I repeat the name, and use it a few times in the next little while; e.g., “Thanks, Anne, for asking that question; great thinking, Wiremu;  what do you think, Sam?  
I do find making associations helps (e.g. if someone share’s the same name as a sister, I make a mental note of that, and take a moment to think of how the two of them compare.)

However, I do think the key is wanting to know their name.

Given that lots of people say they struggle to remember names, it’s perfectly okay to ask people to repeat their name if you’ve forgotten it. But do it quickly and don’t pretend. When you’re a newcomer, others will be especially sympathetic if you say you’ve forgotten (and impressed that you want to know their name).

People respond well to people who know and use their name. It helps build connection, and shows interest and respect for them. So this time, as you start your new job, make the decision to become a person who is good with names.

 

photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@chuttersnap